What a nightmare (: My life cant just get enough worst. Theres no one to run to cuz no one believes me. I dont get it , they said they understands me supports me or whatsoever but to think back….Are they? If they are i would not feel like a loner. They thought im crazy, insane, out my mind…. Okay, yea im CRAZY! CUZ NO ONE CARES!! Am i that useless? Am i? Pity me and no one really damn care! Everyone is always up and im the only one is down. Thats how my life goes. Im just a creature who cant do anything right! Although i tried so hard. I cant even ride my own life! One word, WHATEVER.
I think im gonna go away, vanished from this life. I really want to go cuz i had enough. Im sick and no one realise that, i know i love to fake around and act like everything is okay. But the fact is im not okay ): Im weak and awfully in dreadful pain. Theres no one to save me and no one could. People dont get me as i get them. I tried to live hard as i could but i dont think i can stand longer. Im falling slowly, hope its the end. I dont know where to go, where do i stand, whom i run to…. Theres nothing left for me. Im on my own. No one leads the path , im the one whos gonna figure out whats next………………….
My previous day was like HELL! Days goes by i felt the same. I dont even know myself anymore. I cant figured out whats going on with my phatethic life. My heart is falling to pieces ): Im weak and sad. Those pains and hatred hit me really bad, it really effects me. No im not saying that i am crazy, NO! Im just a girl that needs a cure for this pain. Im just a girl who wants to be love, miss, wanted and care. Theres many missing in my life. Its sad when you have to get through the days faking smile and tell everyone that everything its okay and its more painful when you had to keep everything to yourself. Im nothing but a sad girl who lives in a life she cant go through. Im ashamed and i let myself down. Sometimes i felt that i cant breathe, theres no air. Im hoping for a better life desperately )’:
Everytime when im all alone, in my mind there was only you. I think about the good and bad times we shared together for years and thats when i realised how hard it is to just forget about you. But the pain you gave me just kept fighting over the good things you did to me. Its really hard to accept the pain. I admit im not over it, feels like i should do something but im not sure. Im too much in love with you. Sometimes it feels like dying when im not with you. I dont even care what people said as long as im with you and thats enough. So baby, believe me no one can ever love you like i do.
Now thats all said and done, i cant believe you were the one that build me up and tear me down like an old abandoned house. What you said when you left, you left me cold and out of breath I felt i was in way too deep, guess i let you get the best of me. I never saw it coming I should have started running a long long time ago and i never thought i doubt you im better off without you more than you know. Im slowly getting closure i guess its really over Im finally getting better and now im picking up the pieces spending all of these years putting my heart back together. Cause the day i thought i’d never get through, I got over you.
Ergh im craving for her hair! I want to cut my hair like hers.Unfortunately if kan buat rambut cemani mesti have thick hair. My hair not thick sudah wah, nipis ah ): Tapi i want to cut my hair macam selena gomez jua ): I WANT HER HAIR I WANT HER HAIR!!!!!!!!! ):
Okay seems my love life didnt work out well. No im not saying i wanna walkaway but i do want to work things out. To think about it i just want to start it all over or begin a new chapter. I dont know how it will go but just for once i want us to be just happy together. I just want to stop that stupid fight, stupid argument and think about our lives than others. I felt we didnt know eachother for everything seems to change. It felt really hard to get through it each and everyday. Sometimes i felt i want to just leave you there but then i realized i cant cuz my love was so strong to let go. Promises, swear means nothing at all from you. I dont need it. All i need from you is the truth and your pure love. If i didnt love you i wouldnt stay this far. It is almost five years since we’ve been together, we were just 15 when we were first in love. But now we’re 18 and we’re getting older, times really flies so fast. I couldnt care less, all i want is you to be honest with me and love me as i love you. I know you do love me but by looking at your eyes i just felt theres something is missing, something is wrong and i know theres reason. You made me so cold. Thanks!
If i could lie under the sun everyday and listen to the sound of waves i’ll wish for happiness. But nothing seems to go well everytime i close my eyes. I live hard everyday, i didnt gain so much weight but i do gain so much pain. People around me doesnt seem to care, oh wait! Who am i to care? Im just nothing but a trash. I wish for a better life.
Okay guess what? The dinner went well ( : I freakin enjoyed it, infact everyone seems to enjoy it too ( : But it was really a tiring day for me, i didnt have enough sleep. I only slept for 2hours and it aint good cuz my eyes just felt like sleeping, okay nevermind that. So i felt i want to let out something here, its about the person that i was talking about in my previous post. Okay what actually does she/he wants? She/he was pissed off because we went out the other night, my sis told her/him that if we use two rides she/he can join us for dinner and we pick her/him up but sadly my man rides was fixed at the workshop so we have only one ride fit for six of us couples. and guess what? The person just pissed off cuz we didnt pick her/him up, lame much? Yea i know. What are we the driver? Come on you dont have the right to be mad at us, we told you earlier if the car fits then join us but if it dont sorry another time then. Isnt that enough clear for you? Whatever, we wont apologise for that such stupid thing. It is not wrong at all. Go ahead tell your so-called bestfriend about it and talk trash about us, you always do that when youre pissed off isnt it? I know you well ( : Well it doesnt matter anyway, what did you get anyway? All you know is to enjoy, why not settling all your problems? You got so much more thing to do though. Huh you are so….Im not mean so i just better keep it down. Do me a favor will ya? Grow up already moron! Peace : D
Tomorrow i’ll have my dinner with my two siblings with their boyfriend and girlfriend. So i bring my man too. So there will be a couple night out, yeah! ( : I am really looking forward for tomorrow plan, hope it will go on well and fun. And hope theres no one else except for us. But i heard that my sister will be invinting someone which spoiled my mood and also my brother. That someone is the person that backstabbed us. I just dont understand that person, first we went on very well but then kaboom out of nowhere we became very cold. What went wrong actually? I didnt do nothing at all. I wont ever apologise to someone for no reason, im not that stupid. And how selfish that person is just using us all the way huh but this time she/he wont. Who does she.he think she/he is? The boss of mine? Slave? Unfornately my sister is hypnotise by his/hers words and promises. I can say my sister is stupid. She doesnt even noticed that person used her. Whatever, just hope that person will realised how wrong he/she is. Well for now i can understand he/she is still a 14year old kid, not mature enough. Sorry to say but you sucks! Im starting to hate that person. Thanks anyway for the past you used to made me laugh, share problems and etc. If you should say something to me, its better you say it straight to my face then just staring at me like i did something wrong to you. Think about it, if its about your dear friend who i hated thats okay i understand if you chose her than us. But so you know a friend like that you get nothing but dirty fame. Stop being the so-called naughty attitude its not worth it i’ve been there and i realised theres so much more thing to do than doing those stupid things. Having bad attitude is nothing to be proud of, infact you should be ashame of yourself. Besides you have long way to go. I know you think youre big enough to takecare of yourself and make decisions of your own but sorry youre wrong, dont be ego youre still a kid so accept the fact. Youre not ready to be called an adult. You still need your parents at the age like you. Im not trying to be harsh of even insult you, im not mature myself even im already 18 still i dont felt im an adult because i still have to learn how to be one. But as someone that is older than you, you should somehow take some advice and learn it from there. I know you have many problems, talk to someone if you had to. But makesure someone that you trust. Although i hate you but i still love you, youre one of my closest relatives how could i ever not love you. Hope you’ll change even just a bit.
Okay, he did text me and even misscalled me. Ya im happy but at the same time im mad plus sad. Im still upsad ) : I didnt return back his calls nor reply his message, i still dont have the mood to settle that problem with him. But i do admit i really miss him and even i miss the old us ) : Im so dissapointed, i did what he told me to but he didnt do what i told him to. I realise he had changed a little. I dont even know does he truly love me or no. I tried so hard to be the girl he wants but he just cant seem to see. I know it really hurts him when i dated my ex a long time ago, at that time we were still together but i went out with other guy infact i accepted him to be my boyfriend. Maybe he want to get revenge because of the past? I know i was a jerk a long time ago, but he should know the purpose im becoming that jerk girl. People can change and im changing for the sake of our love. I didnt force myself to change but i want to. I want to be a better girl for him infact i want our relationship to stand longer and have kids of our own, be with eachother everyday and build a really happy family. But now i only think thats as a dream. A dream that maybe will not come true, i dont know its up to the one that made us. All im sure is i really love him so much, i never love a guy before like i loved him. I hope our problem will settle sooner cuz i cant stand our fighting. It sucks!
Hello there earthlings. So as you all know im kinda new at this tumblr thingy. I dont know actually how it works but i’ll manage it : D Im trying to cheer myself up right now. My relationship is having a massive breakdown, hm i really think its over ) : I cant lie i love him so much, we’ve been together for almost five years now. Its hard to forget, i have try once but it didnt work. I need him but im just nothing to him. I cant do anything right. Imagine we fought everyday non-stop. I thought this relationship gonna last with happiness but it ends up worst. He really took my words when i said dont text me no more and dont ever look after me no more, look what happened he really didnt text me or even call me ) : I really didnt mean it, i was so mad at him for lying. I felt my world turning upside down. I hope he’ll text me or call me sooner. I’ll wait for him to contact me for this one week and if he didnt thats mean he really is gettting over me ) : I felt like crying but i dont want to, i just cried badly lastnight and it doesnt do me any good. I just wish i can turn back time and make things work. I did everything to cheer myself up but its not worth it, in my head there was always him ) : It aint easy to just forget about the person you really love who’s been with you for years. Im lost.
